Back to work...

This may come as a surprise to many... I'm starting work on 27 Dec. A lot earlier than any of you might expect. Some may even think that I'll never go back to work again.

Well, indeed, if I could I'll want to stay at home and watch Charlotte grow and be here to nurture her. But I still can't bring myself to depend on Roy for money (ya, I know some of you told me this is some college feminist crap, but I'm just so.) So I've chosen the middle ground. I'm going back to work part-time (3 days a week.) This way I can earn enough to give my parents allowence and pay for some of theirs and my expenses. I want to contribute to the family financially too. Yes, I know taking care of Charlotte is also contributing to the family, but since my hubby did not insist that I stay at home, I suppose he appreciate the financial help. So off to work again.

I'm going to miss Charlotte so much. It's such a struggle. But I told myself, I must not only think for her, I have to think for Roy too. I know he always feel insecure about his retirement in 9-yr's time so he's happy to know that the family will have a 2nd income incase he can't find a decent 2nd career, etc. Since I not only love my baby but I love my hubby too. I should be less selfish and go back to work.

I will probably have to supplement Charlotte's feeds with formula milk once I start working. I had a hard time coming to terms with this and had felt so apologetic (I still am). Though I grew up on formula, I feel very strongly about feeding my baby with my own milk. However, circumstances doesn't allow - I'm one of the rare few who has difficulty expressing milk with a pump. I can only succeed if she's latched onto me. (I know I'm weird. Probably my maternal instinct is so strong that I refuse to produce milk if I don't see my girl suckling, I simply want to save the milke for her only.)