Negativity

I want to rid myself of all negative thoughts and negative comments. I'm feeling so negative of late that I hate myself.

Lots of extreme thoughts came to my mind and then they disappear and they come again. I'm wondering if i'm suffering from any depression. But I guess the fact that I can wonder if I am, I am not.

Things are definitely not too bad, but they're just not going the way I hope them to be. Guess it's like what one of my friend said, we're just too used to getting things done to our level of expectations and we expect everything to be perfect, to be above average, to attain our target. Once we can't get achieve the level we set, we get upset. We just gotta learn that we're human too.

I want a happy xmas. I want my family to have a happy xmas. I don't want to be the one to spoil it for them. Crossing my fingers, guess I'll know if my xmas is a nice one by next week. But the wait is killing me. Although i don't want to be stressed by it, I am. I've not sleep well, I've been waking up at night. However hard I try not to be affected, I'm still bothered by it.